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COMMENT: 10 Things to look for while trying to park

Thursday, October 8, 2009 | 12:01 a.m. CDT; updated 3:03 p.m. CDT, Sunday, October 11, 2009
Nebraska's school motto is "There's No Place Like Nebraska." The fans are awfully unique also.

COLUMBIA — We're back, baby.

After a week off, 10 Things has returned for tonight's prime time showdown between Nebraska and Missouri.

But this time around we're headed in a slightly different direction because, well, we couldn't find 10 things that you don't know about Nebraska.

There's corn. They like football. We get it.

So with all the news about the probable parking snafus that are likely to come Thursday, we thought we would make the search for a spot a little more enjoyable.

And with that, here you go, 10 things to look for while trying to find a place to park:

10. Tommy Lee. The Mötley Crüe drummer attended Nebraska for a few weeks in 2004 for a reality series called "Tommy Lee Goes to College." We can't really blame Nebraska for playing ball with the idea. Who wouldn't want their institution of higher learning to be associated with a guy who was involved in making songs with wholesome messages like, "Always got the cops/coming after me/Custom-built bike doing 103."

9. Anyone mispronouncing the name of Nebraska defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh.  Tell them that it's En-dom-ah-ken Soo and that they shouldn't worry: By the end of the game everyone will know exactly how to say it. For now, just know that it translates to "He's a whole heck of a lot better than everybody else."

8. Animals moving two-by-two. It's supposed to rain Thursday night. Like, Biblical-style. Right now there is reported to be a 90 percent chance of rain with a flood warning in effect until Friday morning. It might be tough to throw the ball when it's pouring like that. Good thing the Tigers are known for that dominant running game.

7. Herbie Husker. This one's for all the Nebraska fans, who should do their best to give Herbie a hug when they get a chance. The jean-wearing faux cowboy isn't the most thrilling of mascots but compared to a real-life version of former Nebraska nicknames like Bugeaters and Tree Planters, he's a gem.

6. Nebraska fans singing, "No Place Like It." The school song, written in 1920, eventually led to the school motto "There's No Place Like Nebraska." We're not going to disagree. We're just not sure why it's something they'd want to broadcast.

5. Lawrence Phillips jerseys. There are inherent dangers with the purchase of any jersey, and several of them make for high hindsight comedy. Players get traded, they retire, they transfer, they get arrested, they professionally bust, they try their luck in the Canadian Football League. And, occasionally, one will hit on a transcendentally awesome combination of the bunch. Enter former Husker, St. Louis Ram, Barcelona Dragon and Calgary Stampeder Lawrence Phillips, whose Wikipedia page mentions his legal troubles in its first sentence. If you notice anyone with a red No. 1 jersey Thursday night you might want to let them know that it's probably time to shell out the 70 bucks for a new one.

4. Bo Pelini. Just because Pelini seems to be a rare breed among his colleagues. After rumors of the flu swirled all week around the Huskers' locker room , Pelini sarcastically posted on his Twitter account Wednesday, "Got the flu so I am gonna sit this one out along with a bunch of other guys!!!!!" A college football coach making a joke. How 'bout that?

3. MU Journalism School koozies. We're sure that these koozies, which are being sold at Reynolds Journalism Institute today, are solely for toting Dr. Pepper and other responsible beverages. Chancellor Brady Deaton, in his open letter to Anheuser-Busch about the Missouri fan cans, made it very clear that MU is not in the business of promoting reckless behavior like underage drinking.

2. Nebraska fans under the age of 5. These kids are caught in some weird Twilight Zone of college football reality, and it could make for some great entertainment. The Tigers are 4-2 against Nebraska in their lifetime. Think about that. In that child's mind, the Missouri-Nebraska game is a tough game that normally ends with Missouri winning. Wait until he finds out about that 24-year Missouri winless streak from '79 to '02. He won't know which way is up.

1. Erin Andrews. Yes, Ms. Andrews will be part of ESPN's broadcast team Thursday night. And no, we're not upset about it. We here at 10 things are part of the majority that values Ms. Andrews as both an excellent television journalist and a not-so-terrible-looking human being. After a man was arrested last week for stalking the sideline reporter, all we're asking is that any admirers of Ms. Andrews abide by applicable local and statewide statutes. Please. Because we also wouldn't be upset if she kept coming back.


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Comments

Jordan Zirm October 8, 2009 | 5:17 p.m.

Robert, just wanted to say, as a fellow reporter here at the Missourian, that I really enjoy reading these 10 things columns every week. They are hilarious and very well written so I thought I would say something. Keep it up.

(Report Comment)
Andy Carpenter October 8, 2009 | 10:19 p.m.

Man, that was one funny joke. Twitter is awesome.

(Report Comment)

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