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COMMENT: 10 Things you didn't know about Colorado

Friday, October 30, 2009 | 12:01 a.m. CDT; updated 9:21 a.m. CDT, Friday, October 30, 2009
ABC/ESPN announcer Brent Musburger references Columbia Missourian football writer Robert Mays' "10 things that make Texas a bad homecoming opponent" during the Missouri-Texas national broadcast on Oct. 24.

COLUMBIA — It's official. The "10 Things" is bigger than all of us, thanks to Brent Freakin' Musburger.

All of us here at the 10 things would like to thank Mr. Musburger, an iconic sports announcer, for our 52 seconds of fame on ABC during Saturday's Missouri-Texas game, and for the hours of basking in it that we did afterward. If you think we haven't watched that clip 50 times this week, you are so wrong.

But little did Brent Musburger know he was creating a bit of a dilemma. Namely, where do we go from here?

So this week we're going back to our roots. We remember the 10 Things when they were pure, before they were all commercialized. And with so many people in your ear, it gets easy to forget where you came from. But not us. We're going to dance with what "brung" us.

And with that, here ya go. The "10 things that you didn't know about Colorado":

10. The Third Flatiron is a Boulder mountain a few hundred feet higher than the Empire State Building. People have climbed it on roller skates, naked and in 8 minutes. Each was done by a separate climber, but we're fairly certain that only one of them found out about it the next morning.

9. Colorado football coach Dan Hawkins played Division I football! Yes, that one's cheap, but we had to work Hawkins in somehow. His rant in response to a parent's complaint about the lack of offseason time he gives his athletes is nothing but a classic. The problem now is that his comments are a little outdated. Not because Division I is now called the FBS, but because it's hard to consider the Big 12 North Division I football.

8. "South Park" creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone attended CU during the '90s. We tried to scrounge around for a "South Park" reference, but the "10 Things" is a family-friendly production and talking about (word deleted) (word deleted) and (word deleted) just wasn't going to cut it.

7. The oldest student group at CU is the hiking club. Is anyone surprised by this? Anyone? Boulder is like the anti-L.A. It's where you go when you want to live off Funyuns and have absolutely no interest in ever shaving again.

6. Former Colorado running back Rashaan Salaam rushed for 2,055 yards and 24 touchdowns as a junior, which was good enough for the best season by a running back at CU and the Heisman Trophy. That's where the fun ends. For the next three seasons Salaam became arguably the biggest draft bust in the history of the Chicago Bears. And that's a list that includes Cade McNown, Curtis Enis and David Terrell. Salaam topped it all off by making a one-year stop with the Memphis Maniax of the XFL. XFL jokes just feel unfair.

5. Ralphie, the live buffalo that serves as CU's mascot, is the fifth Ralphie to lead the football team's run onto the field and is actually a female. This is the second-straight week in which Missouri has played a team with a live mascot, and it's got us thinking about how great a live tiger would be. The closest thing we've got are those doctored pictures of a live tiger walking by the Columns. When we found out that wasn't an actual picture, it was like finding out there was no Santa Claus.

4. The television show "Mork and Mindy" was set in Boulder, and the house used for the show is now a private residence. For those born after 1982, "Mork and Mindy" was the show in which Robin Williams got his start as an alien who traveled to Earth in a big egg. The show lasted three seasons and features a late 1970s Williams with rainbow suspenders, before fatherhood AND rehab. The results are predictably awesome.

3. It's illegal to allow your llama to graze on public property in Boulder. In all fairness, that seems pretty reasonable. We can't have llamas roamin' about. There are kids in those parks.

2. Robert Redford was a janitor at The Sink, a Boulder pizza place, before he made it big as an actor. We scoured Redford's filmography for a potential punch line, and it just didn't work out. We concluded that you don't make fun of Roy Hobbs. You just don't.

1. ESPN columnist Rick Reilly attended the University of Colorado. We're not even gonna lie about it. We're pretty darn jealous of the job that Reilly has. We know all about mailing in a column filled with bad jokes. We just don't get paid millions of dollars to write them.


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Comments

Andy Carpenter October 31, 2009 | 2:43 p.m.

Saying that Salaam is the biggest Bears draft bust is an insult to Michael Haynes.

(Report Comment)
Carla Jimenez October 31, 2009 | 2:59 p.m.

We should totally get a live tiger.

(Report Comment)

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