It’s almost 2011 and I can’t believe I have to write this out, but I want to make this 100 percent crystal clear to everyone in the world right now:
Being gay is not a choice.
There you have it. Perhaps you just learned something new. Maybe you already knew this; I certainly hope you did.
There is an overwhelming amount of people out there who think being gay is a choice. I cringe for humanity every time I hear it.
If you’re straight and think being gay is a choice, may I pose some questions to you?
When did you realize you were straight? Did you ever make the concrete decision to be straight? Do you wake up every day and have to make the decision to step out the door and only be attracted to the opposite sex? Doesn’t all of this sound silly?
On top of that, with the recent amount of publicized gay suicides from bullying, do you honestly believe the students would continue to “choose” to be gay even under extreme pressure and harassment from fellow students? Let’s get real here.
I’m a 22-year-old gay man, and I’ve been gay for every day of those 22 years. It might have taken me about 13 years to figure it out, but I was always gay.
For us, homosexuality isn’t just a switch we flip on and off. It operates just like heterosexuality. It’s hard to explain, but you know that feeling you get when you see a beautiful person of the opposite sex and you admire him or her for his or her beauty? You never wonder why you’re attracted to the opposite sex by instinct. You just are. It’s the same way for homosexuals. There’s no explaining the attraction to the same sex. It just happens.
I can’t believe I’m explaining this, but it’s necessary.
- What will eternally plague me about the gay marriage debate is the fact that the people who oppose it are straight. Has anyone ever heard to "step down if it’s not your fight"? Well, gay marriage isn’t in straight people’s interest, so why are they so interested in opposing it? Yikes, I’ll never understand it. But for all the straight people fighting for us – I can’t thank you enough.
- A so-called “gay gene” hasn't been proven yet, but I absolutely believe it exists. If it didn’t exist, why would I have a gay brother? Why would two brothers I went to high school with both be gay? Ever heard of the gay brothers study?
- I must admit I’m glad a "gay gene" hasn’t been discovered yet because then we’d have an X-Men situation on our hands. People would want to cure homosexuality as if it were a terrible disease. What if someone tried to cure your heterosexuality? Or your skin color? If being gay were indeed a disease, it would be the most fabulous disease to ever walk this planet.
- Don’t worry, we won’t spread gayness to your kids if they’re around us. We might teach them to dress better or to be more accepting of others, but we won’t transfer homosexuality onto them like a sickness.
- On the subject of children, all gay men are not child molesters. That’s like saying all Muslims are terrorists. Why do we let a few bad examples define an entire demographic?
- And straight guys, don't flatter yourselves. Being a gay man does not automatically make us attracted to every guy on the planet. We have standards, too. I have a lot of straight guy friends, and I'm not attracted to the majority of them. Some - yes, most - no. A straight guy isn't attracted to every single woman he sees on the street, is he?
- On a related note, it is a terrible feeling to be attracted to someone you know you will never ever have a chance with. Imagine if the majority of the people you realistically wanted to pursue a relationship with automatically had zero interest in you. Yeah, that's kind of how being gay feels.
Gay people come in all shapes and sizes. I, for one, do fall into some of the popular gay stereotypes. I dress well, I’m a shoe addict, and I have an undying love for all things Gaga. I also enjoy a good day with my .45 at the range (if you couldn’t tell by my last column), and I am a marathoner of video games. I used to be a security guard, too.
I didn’t choose to be gay; none of us did.
I have a theory that when you die you have a selection of whom you want to be in your next life. If I were given the choice, I’d be a gay man every time. Despite the struggles and misunderstandings, I’ve learned a lot about people from being gay. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, and I don’t think any other gay person should either. Be proud of who you are. You’re not any less of a person despite the signals our government and some of our peers send us. And don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.
If you already knew everything up there that you just read through, I apologize. The message clearly wasn’t for you. But you can help to spread it.
Parents who have brought up their children with the notion that being gay is a choice are wrong. And kids believe almost anything parents tell them. I'm not mad at the parents for not knowing the truth; I'm irritated that some of them don't accept it. It is jarring to figure out something you believed your whole life is wrong, but it happens.
If any readers have questions about homosexuality, please comment below or find me on Twitter. I would gladly write another column answering any questions about homosexuality. No matter how foolish a question seems, don't be afraid to ask.