We have long admired the ability of the wordsmiths at Anheuser-Busch to turn obfuscation into high art. Consider the rollout of the brewery's latest brew, Bud Light Platinum.
BLP will debut around the time of the Super Bowl, naturally, so expect to see a lot of clever commercials. Do not expect to see prominent mention of the fact that a 12-ounce can of BLP will contain only eight fewer calories (137) than a can of regular Budweiser and 27 more calories than a standard Bud Light.
But BLP is not so much about light as it is about buzz. BLP will contain 6 percent alcohol by volume, 43 percent more than Bud Light and about 17 percent more than Budweiser.
In announcing the rollout this month, the brewery praised Bud Light's "social personality" and said BLP "appeals to a key group of beer drinkers and expands consumer occasions."
This is genius. The key group of beer drinkers is people who drink microbrews, which often have higher alcohol content than macrobrews.
And expanded "consumer occasions" includes situations in which a regular Bud Light's "social personality" would be considered wimpy.
We might have gone with "more bang for the Bud." This is why we're not rich.