Lessons on love: Leave work at work

Tuesday, February 14, 2012 | 6:00 a.m. CST

The Missourian interviewed 10 senior citizens with more than 400 combined years of marriage among them, and we've compiled a list of the 10 tips they shared. Read all 10 lessons in a single story.

3. Leave work at work

Ed and Judith Chmielewski have been married for 35 years. They moved from Minnesota to Columbia in 1998 for retirement because of their love of the arts and music.

Before their move to Columbia, Ed worked as a psychologist and Judith was a junior high teacher and later, a grief therapist.

"The one thing that we made a point of doing was when we got home from work, we agreed to not be talking about our work," she said.

"Unless we were both overwhelmed that particular day," he said. "Then we didn't need to talk about it, you just need consolation."

"And that was very important because you don’t operate a counseling service out of your home," she said.

"I think the biggest thing was to debrief or to just be away from each other in two different rooms for a while," she said. "And then once you've debriefed from work you could act as a human being in a relationship, in a marriage relationship."

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