FROM READERS: Columbia author shares a funny take on his humorous autobiography

Joe G. Dillard, a longtime Columbia resident, recently published his first book, "A Full Cup of Joe," a humorous autobiography of his funny life experiences thus far.

Don’t know Squat? Well you can after you read "A Full Cup of Joe."

Joe lives in Columbia, Missouri with his wife (Betty), their three children and five grandchildren (who are all above average). Other than writing, he does research on his Blue Mound Missouri History Project. Maybe another book sometime? For a sneak peak at the progress go to www.bluemoundhistory.com. He also stays busy mowing six acres and hoeing a 40-by-40-foot garden in between attending basketball and softball games to watch his grandkids play.

Joe’s book is a humorous autobiography of all the funny things that have happened to him in life thus far (modestly embellished, of course). One feature of the book is never-before-seen photos of the difference between a squat and a hunker. If you ever attended one of his many workshops or presentations, you have probably seen him perform this amazing feat. He is still doing it at age 75!

As Joe points out in the book, life can be, and often is, funny. All you have to do is watch for it, or sometimes just experience it. Joe does this for you in this book. So, grab a cup of joe, set back, relax and join Joe in reliving his funniest life experiences.

You may not squirt your favorite beverage out of your nose, but his funny stories will bring a smile to your face and put a spring in your step. It’s obvious that he has seen, heard and experienced more funny situations than a normal person deserves. Meanwhile, you will learn how to solve problems by reading the “wet basement” story and how he became “A Real Guy” at church camp.

Also read “comments about the book that they surely would have made had they been asked." Some examples are:

• “And all this time, I thought you were my little angel.” —Mother
• “That’s my boy J!” —Father
• “Hey bro, one nut in the family is enough, and U R it for sure.” —Brother
• “If only he had a membership so we could revoke it.” —PETA
• “One Read Program? Only in his mind!” —Columbia Public Library in Columbia, Missouri
• “OMG. Where did he go wrong? I trained him better than this.” —High school English teacher
• “If I had known all of this before we got married …” —My wife
• “That dude is not related to us and this book will not be in our stores!” —Mr. Dillard of Dillard’s department stores
• “Hey Joe, funny stories. Not bad for a Democrat!” —Joe Scarborough, Host of MSNBC’S “Morning Joe”

Some early comments about the book from readers:

• The first review of the book (e-version) was by one of his son-in-laws: “I must be honest and admit that the author is my father-in-law, so there is a bit a bias here. However, the family has heard these stories forever, and I mean forever. Convinced that he needed to put them on paper, when you read a Full Cup of Joe, you are reading the "voice" of Joe Dillard. This is a good, honest, mid-American voice, and a truly funny dude.”
• "Joe...Your book has inspired me to write about the funny stories of my life! I have 3 pages written so far. I am still reading your book. Your Grandson came up with a great title!"
• "I am enjoying reading your book! We all need humor...they say a good laugh is even healthy!"
• "What a great day! Sitting on my deck this morning reading 'A Full Cup of Joe'... I was laughing so loud I am sure my neighbors wondered what I was up to. Although...I must say...and don't mistake this for a dream interpretation...I do believe you saw the Energizer Bunny commercial one too many times! : )"

There is a disclaimer (and a bonus story that goes with each copy; only available when ordering directly from Joe):

“Please do not attempt to emulate, repeat or improve upon these events and incidents in the privacy of your own home or for that matter anywhere else. Reading this book should not reflect upon your use of good judgment. However, if you read it a second time…!”

This story is part of a section of the Missourian called From Readers, which is dedicated to your voices and your stories. We hope you'll consider sharing. Here's how. Supervising editor is Joy Mayer.