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TIGER KICKOFF: Max Copeland warns readers about automated toilets

Friday, October 18, 2013 | 6:00 a.m. CDT; updated 7:07 a.m. CDT, Friday, October 18, 2013

Missouri guard Max Copeland, the force behind 'Copeland's Cranium,' has been prohibited from talking to the media for two weeks. 

During his hiatus, Copeland has set up a persona blog to reveal what is on his mind. You can find the blog at montanamadman61x.blogspot.com. Here are some of the highlights of his latest entries:

Recently everyone has been real stressed out because they found out that the government has been reading our emails and our text messages and listening to our phone calls. I've known about that for years. That's why I keep a lot of slang, I use a lot of code and I don't make phone calls when I could talk to someone in person. 

But what a lot of people don't know is that the government is in the bathroom. I don't trust automated flushers, automated sinks, automated paper towel dispensers, automated water fountains, and you know I don't trust the automated soap dispensers. I don't like that blinking red light when it's looking at me. I know germs don't exist, and I'm not afraid to touch stuff. And the government knows germs don't exist, so why are they putting in all these automated sinks and toilets and urinals and soap dispensers? I'll tell you why. Those are cameras. They're keeping tabs on us. People think they're safe in the bathroom. That's why they can keep tabs on you there. They'll hit you where you think you're safe. 

So, here's how you avoid the government watching you. Try to avoid things that say 'This is a new space age, hands-free.' Hands- free means government spy, CIA tracking device. Don't be afraid to touch stuff. Faucets where you have to touch the nozzle or the little handle, those are fine. Those are good to go. When you see some blinking red lights, get out of there, man. Uncle Sam's watching you. 

COPELAND'S PLAYLIST: "Snakecharmer," Rage Against the Machine

I've been a big Rage Against the Machine fan since I was in the seventh or eight grade. They're a band that every time you listen to them, they stay fresh. You never get tired of listening to them. I still get chills when I hear some their breakdowns and some of the riffs in their songs.

It is rebel music. They embody this nasty snarl towards authority that I just, I really dig, man. Their sound is unlike anything else.

A track that I've been listening to is "Snakecharmer" on "Evil Empire."

I think my favorite and most powerful part of the song comes at the end. It close with the line, "Your friendship is a fog that closes and disappears when the wind redirects you. Interested in you. Interested in you." And he keeps repeating the line "Interested in you."

It leaves you in this sense of unrest after the song. And also it is thought-provoking, and you wonder where the song was written out of. It made you think the song was written out of disillusionment. People are always going to be interested in you for something. Most times it's going to be to profit off of you. They want something out of you. This is a song that really illustrates the disillusion in realizing that some people are going to be interested in you because they're interested in themselves.

Supervising editor is Greg Bowers.


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