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TIGER KICKOFF: Copeland's Corner

Friday, November 1, 2013 | 6:00 a.m. CDT; updated 6:19 a.m. CDT, Friday, November 1, 2013

Missouri Tigers offensive lineman Max Copeland is free from his two-week media suspension, and just in time for Halloween! This week, he discusses scarring trick-or-treat memories, his favorite horror movie and some nostalgic '90s rock.

Here is one of the reasons why I turned out screwed up: I was 3 or 4 years old. I think I was dressed up as Buzz Lightyear. I was probably a nice kid then. I was probably not weird yet.

When we were trick-or-treating, it was just me and my parents. I walked up to a house and this 7 1/2-foot tall gorilla jumps out and screams at me. Like a roar. It was traumatizing. It was some dad. He ended up pulling off his mask.

Why would you just jump out and yell at a kid like, “Arrrrghhhhhhh?”

Boom. I just turned into a crazy person from there. In retrospect, I thank that man. If he hadn’t scared me, I’d be wearing some sort of collared shirt with sleeves on it at a job and wearing deodorant.

It was kind of like the opening scene from a superhero movie where something dramatic happens and a superhero is born from the experience. That was my experience.

I don’t like gory movies because it’s cheap shock value. I’d rather go for weird and creepy. I feel like that takes real directive talent to be able to scare someone without simply killing someone. If it’s something really weird that disturbs you, that’s cool.

One of my favorite movies of all-time was “The Devil’s Rejects.” I don’t know if I should talk about that movie because it’s a really disturbing movie, but it’s awesome. It has this serial-killer family that’s just going through killing people. Here’s the cool thing: As disturbing as all the craziness was, there’s this one super tough sheriff with these awesome sideburns that’s like, “No, I’m putting a stop to this.”

He goes through and takes each family member one by one and says, “Nah, this isn’t going down in my town.” The last scene of the movie is the family driving a convertible into this police blockade. The solo from “Free Bird” is playing, and they’re riding into this blockade and they just mow ‘em all down. They all die, but it was cool.

Yeah. That was awesome.

I’m not a big fan of the dental accessories (when trick-or-treating). I don’t care if your dad’s a dentist. You buy some at least fun-sized Snicker’s, or else your house is getting egged. That’s just what’s going to happen. I’ve gotten dental floss. I’ve gotten mini toothbrushes with the dried toothpaste on them. So you don’t even get your freedom of choice in toothpaste, which is just … yechhh.

Halloween is an excuse for fat kids — i.e. linemen — to eat candy, but we’d probably eat candy anyway. So this is just a little more guilt-free. I was wondering what would happen if the offensive line went trick-or-treating. That would be really funny if that could be like a YouTube video.

Playlist selection of the week: “Zero” by Smashing Pumpkins

I don’t like carving pumpkins. I like smashing pumpkins.

When I was little, I had a cousin who lived with me. She grew up in the golden age of grunge. I was probably 3 or 4, but she was a teenager, like 16 or 17 in the early ‘90s, so this was grunge’s heyday. I have a distinct memory of Smashing Pumpkins songs coming from her room.

When I was 16, I got "Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness." It was a weird album, but it was really good. It awakened forgotten memories for me, like, “Oh my gosh, I remember sitting in my 'Space Jam' pajamas eating toothpaste (when I was a kid, I’d eat toothpaste by the bottle) and hearing this.”

There’s one song I still listen to all the time from that album: “Zero.” It’s an awesome representative of what grunge-metal was. It’s low-down. It’s dirty. It’s a little apathetic.

“Zero” accomplished that anti-movement mentality, and it’s really dirty, dude. I consider that a very heavy song. (Singing) “Wanna go for a ride?”

He’s kinda like, “I don’t care about anything."

You can’t listen to the song without bobbing your head, and it also brings back childhood memories. It could’ve been influential in my taste in music today.


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