Day One Woke up this morning wanting a cigarette. I have the best intentions for this week of not smoking, but I already regret agreeing to it. I quit once before. Of course, I had a prescription for quit smoking pills, and it still wasn’t easy. I quit smoking in July 2006 for several months. I smoke Doral Menthol Lights but will smoke anything if it is around. OK, so I’ve made it through the first day, but I must have walked three miles. Three times I spent a half hour or better pacing around, trying to figure out how to get out of this stupid, stupid agreement.
Day Two I didn’t wake up wanting a smoke, but it didn’t take long. I was pretty much a jerk for most of the day. About 5 this evening, I found out my girlfriend and I can’t get the house we were trying to rent. I drove a beeline to my friend Melissa’s house and demanded a cigarette. I felt bad after I had finished it. I’m quite sure I would have pulled my hair out if I hadn’t had one though. THIS SUCKS.
Day Three No entry.
Day Four I’m doing better. I didn’t write yesterday because every day I make an entry, it throws me into a nice fit. After Day Two’s setback, I didn’t want to risk it. I’m still very short-tempered and probably need to buy my girlfriend some roses or something. Oh yes, THIS SUCKS.
Day Five I was kind of worried about today. We had no plans except to just drive by a couple of houses for rent, and normally I would hang out with my friends drinking and cooking dinner with lots of cigarettes. We decided to just stay in to avoid that whole mess, but I gotta say I’m salivating over that smoke on Day Two. My girlfriend will be very disappointed.
Day Six I woke up this morning wanting a cigarette. I have heard dozens of people say “You just have to make it through the first three days.” Poppycock! (That would be a curse word were this my personal journal.) The strangest part about this thing is getting back my sense of smell. I guess cigarettes dull the senses, but now when someone says “What’s that smell?” my response is no longer, “what smell?” I just always thought I had a bad nose.
Day Seven Last day. It’s completely asinine, but I already bought a pack. I spent the late afternoon staring at it like a freshman pining for a varsity cheerleader. My girlfriend was very disappointed and laid down the whole “You made it so far. Why would you just start again?” guilt trip. I feel bad. It’s no fun feeling like you can’t control yourself. This is the longest I’ve gone without smoking, excluding the one time I actually quit. I don’t know how people do it. Anyway, I’ve already written this off as the best of my failed attempts at quitting. Where are my damn cigarettes?