Keeping a marriage on track

Coaching relationships are similar to married ones. There are bound to be disagreements when two people spend so much time together.

But coaches can usually get away from each other when they head home.

Yet, there is no escape for Jared and Rebecca Wilmes. The two are married and coach Missouri cross country, indoor track and outdoor track together.

They say they wouldn’t have it any other way.

“A lot of people say, ‘Man, I could never work with my spouse,’ ” Rebecca said. “But the great thing about it is having someone who can support me through what I’m doing.”

The Wilmeses first met as runners at MU.

After being friends for more than a year, the two began dating. A little more than two years later, Jared and Rebecca were married.

After seven years of marriage, Rebecca describes Jared as her best friend.

“He is a visionary, a motivator and a very confident person,” Rebecca said.

When describing Rebecca, Jared counted off good traits — patience, loyalty, trustworthiness and caring. They both routinely mention their 10-month-old son, Garrett, when talking about their home life.

“You have to have a home life you look forward to coming home to,” Rebecca said. “As much as I love coaching and being with the kids, I love being a mom.”

The two said they love their home and work lives.

“We know our marriage comes first,” Rebecca said. “The same things that make our marriage work are what make us working together work.”

Jared said their jobs actually benefit their marriage by allowing them to spend time with each other.

“This is a very difficult job because we travel a lot,” Jared said. “It’s good we get to spend that time together. I think this job would be almost impossible if we didn’t get to spend time together on the road.”

Spending time on the road is a big part of the recruiting process, Jared said. When looking at recruits, Jared said, he isn’t trying to get just anybody to come to MU. He said he looks for the right athletes to fit into the Wilmes’ program.

Jared and Rebecca said they are more interested in developing their runners into great people than solely great runners.

“Coaching is way more than developing kids into great athletes,” Jared said. “We want to develop them as a person, and hopefully they leave Missouri knowing they had a great experience and that people really cared about them.”

Watching the couple coach at a meet conveys their approach.

“Keep going! Attack the hill! Push it!” Jared shouts to his runners.

Rebecca interrupts a post-meet interview to congratulate senior Jill Petersen on her win.

Jared said he and Rebecca also stress the importance of academics to their team. For three straight years, the men’s and women’s teams have been named Academic All-American teams by the Cross Country Coaches Association.

Last fall, the teams broke the Missouri athletic department’s all-time team term grade point average with a cumulative 3.68 GPA.

The Wilmes’ emphasis on academics comes from their own experience — they both graduated magna cum laude.

“The climate and culture of our program is that we get it done in the classroom,” Jared said. “It’s expected. It is not an option.”

Jared works mainly with the men and Rebecca handles the women, who are ranked No. 12 in the nation in two pre-season polls.

Junior Matt Noonan said that although the coaches handle the teams differently, they bring the teams together.

“Other schools keep the men’s and women’s teams separate from each other,” Noonan said. “But at Mizzou, we combine our teams, and I think that adds to the family atmosphere.”

Rebecca said their marriage helps emphasize the family atmosphere that exists on the Missouri cross country team. Jared said he believes a lot of runners choose Missouri because of the feeling of family in the program.

“During the recruiting process, I could tell Coach Jared really cared,” Noonan said. “He was the only coach I talked to willimng to do anything to have me accomplish my goals.”

The dedication the Wilmeses instill in their runners on the field and in the classroom comes from their driven personalities.

“They don’t leave any stone unturned,” Lewis said. “They always make sure to get things done before they take care of their personal business.”

Even though that personal business includes raising a 10-month-old son, Rebecca said Garrett has not affected her or Jared’s dedication to their runners.

“I think (having a baby) has made me a better coach,” Rebecca said, “because no matter what, I get up in the morning and it’s a great day because I have a 10-month-old baby I love and a husband to share him with.”

Once the two leave practice and head home, usually around 6 p.m., cross country business is set aside so they can play with Garrett.

Outside of cross country, the Wilmeses said, they spend most of their time with their son. Trips to Kentucky Lake, where Rebecca’s parents live, offer opportunities to water-ski and visit with family.

“Spending time with family is what is most important to us,” Jared said.