Gobbling down the turkey

It’s the Monday before Thanksgiving and already the aisles of Gerbes grocery store on Paris Road are unusually busy. There is still enough room for Stephanie Carani, a Vanderveen Drive resident, to meticulously weave her cart around shoppers and browsers in search for cranberry sauce. After sifting through the canned fruits and vegetables, rummaging among the multitudes of fruit cocktails and green beans, she finally spots the sauce at the end of the aisle in its own display rack.

“I wonder if they stock cranberry sauce the entire year or just around the holidays,” Stephanie said.

The grocery store scavenger hunt for cranberry sauce is only part of Stephanie’s hectic holiday routine. And since she married her husband, David, in July, both have a new addition to the Thanksgiving build-up — the stress of obligations. The newlyweds are close to their families, and the couple had a new challenge to marital bliss: decide which family to spend Thanksgiving with.

Thanksgiving, and the holiday season in general, is considered a time to reunite, relax and feast with family and friends, but with it comes a recognized increase in physical and emotional anxiety.

According to Lynne Knobloch-Fedders of The Family Institute associated with Northwestern University, good communication is necessary if families want to avoid the arguments and stress that comes with the holidays.

Knobloch-Fedders suggests people prioritize what’s important to them around the holidays and instead of trying to fit everything in, focus on what makes the holiday special for you. Another tip was to create your own family routine for the holiday that the family can look forward to each year.

For Stephanie, that meant cooking their own special dinner just for the two of them.

“This is the first holiday we will spend together,” Stephanie said. “It was important to have our own Thanksgiving, and I wasn’t going to give it up.”

It did not excuse them from family invites. The compromise: spend the weekend before the holiday with Stephanie’s family in Lebanon, Mo., eating a brisket dinner on Sunday; Tuesday night was their night alone; and Wednesday they would travel 400 miles to Chicago to spend the rest of the week with David’s family.

“The hardest hassle was figuring out when to go to Stephanie’s parents’ house,” David said. “We almost decided to stop on the way back from Chicago, but that would have been too crazy.”

David’s take is a little more lax.

“The holidays might bring out more stress in a relationship,” David said. “She’s more into all of the holidays, not that I’m not, but she goes crazy. I’m just along for the ride.”

Because their families are so important to the both of them, the couple sees the balancing act between Chicago and Lebanon as a quandary that will continue for years.

“I can definitely see it become part of our routine,” David said. “So far, it’s been OK, but ask us again when it’s all over.”

“I didn’t realize the time it takes to plan all of this out,” Stephanie said. “You can say you are going to three Thanksgiving dinners, but it’s another thing to reserve time between the trips to do laundry and pack.”