Rural Missourians are finding significant others in a place traditionally reserved for urbanites--online.
Family farms are few and far between these days. That makes it hard for the
proverbial farmer's daughter and farmer's son to find each other. But with
Internet access becoming almost as common on the farm as in the city, rural
lonelyhearts are increasingly finding companionship online.
Angela Todt, who grew up on a farm southeast Missouri, wasn’t looking for
a husband when she logged into a Catholic dating site about four years ago.
But the seed Todt planted that day bore the fruits of marriage eight months
later as she found a compatible match in farmer Ed Todt.
“I am a farmer’s daughter myself, so I knew the lifestyle and what I was getting
myself into,” Todt said.
Todt’s understanding of rural life was one more thing she and her husband had in common. Now married for three and a half years, Todt never would have thought her rural background and the Internet would meld and give her a happily married life back on the farm.
A national Web site—farmersonly.com—might make things easier for singles like Todt seeking love and companionship.
According to the Web site, this site was necessary because as its motto states, “City
folks just don’t get it.”
Users can log onto the Web site to post pictures, profiles and contact fellow
users in their search for the ideal farm boy or girl. A basic membership
is free. The site is also currently offering a free trial of its premium membership.
Instead of endlessly searching profiles for a compatible match, users of
this site appreciate the rural lifestyle and are into farming – and that’s a plus whether they’re raising alpacas, apples, corn, or cattle.
So far, more than 500 Missourians have signed up for the Internet dating site.
“When I was starting the site, a lot of men complained that they can never find women to ‘come back to the farm,’” said Ohio based farmersonly.com founder Jerry Mills. “But once everything got going, rural women came out of the woodwork, so to speak.”
Farmersonly.com was not available when the Todts were courting, but they fit the demographic the site is trying to reach. Angela had a background with a rural lifestyle, and Ed worked many hours on the farm, making it harder for him to meet potential matches.
The national numbers suggest the Todt’s situation wasn’t and isn’t unique.
Since farmersonly.com began last May, membership numbers have been skyrocketing thanks, in part, to national media attention. The numbers are growing daily, and currently an estimated 15,000 men and women are active users of the Web site. Three couples are already planning weddings.
“There’s a real need for this service,” Miller said. “When you consider the low concentration of people in rural areas, coupled with the fact that farming has declined around the country in recent years, it makes sense. Now people want to get back into farming.”
It was the 1980s farm crisis that brought them away from the farm, said John
Ikerd, an emeritus professor of agricultural economics at MU. In the past,
there was a strong sense of community among farmers, but now that is disappearing.
Ikerd said it used to be assumed that at least one child in rural families would become a farmer.
“Now most farmers will tell their kids to get an education and go somewhere
else—out of agriculture,” Ikerd said.
The lack of farmers, coupled with the
increase in competition as larger farms replace smaller farms, has reduced
the sense of a strong agricultural community.
“What’s happening in farming today is growing isolation and competition,” Ikerd said.
People now commute to larger towns for their shopping needs, where most socialization occurs. They often have to work long hours to ensure their farm’s financial success against the pressures from corporate farmers.
All this adds up to make friendship and courtship a difficult task.
New agricultural groups around Missouri have risen to provide a renewed sense of community for farmers. The groups have conferences that focus on both the social and informative aspects of farming and often feature music and country dances.
“They build relationships with like-minded people,” Ikerd said. “It’s not a bunch of lonesome, depressed people; they want to have fun. All of them want to be associated with agriculture one way or another.”
And the farmers like all the attention that is being placed back on their needs.
Miller said he has heard numerous testimonials thanking him for starting the farmersonly.com Web site.
“I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback since the Web site opened for business,” said Miller. “People are always thanking me for starting a service focused on them. They aren’t an afterthought anymore.”